I’ve always found death beautiful. The rotting husk of a once living person, now infected with maggots and flies, proves to me that there is beauty in death. If Rey hadn’t found me at my lowest, I could’ve been the most gorgeous art piece in the cemetery. We now are both consumed by our interior darkness; mine being the guilt slowly creeping in, and his being the rot taking over his body.
Headlines on almost every journal talking about the “freak incident” at a local Puerto Rican family. Thirty deaths, with most corpses being cannibalized by the culprit. Only one body was left with meat on its bone: seventeen year old Rey Bianca Lopez, found with a butcher knife stuck deep inside his face. Autopsies show that the massacre happened on Christmas Day, five days before his older brother found him. Five days before Alejandro and I found him. Five days after I had that dream. That dream… a predilection of some sort? A message before his passing? I could’ve passed it off as just another nightmare. But there’s one thing he said that is still making me think; “I want you to know that it wasn’t a suicide or a murder”. If it wasn’t any of the above, then…
Who, or what, killed Rey?
A funeral service was held for the ones who fell victim to the Christmas massacre, which was mostly financed by Rafael’s fiancée. I averted my eyes to the floor as we entered the reception room. Showered with gifts and condolences, Rafael’s empty stare and corpse-like demeanor spoke louder than his forcefully worn smile. He’d lost everything; his father, gone since his young age, his mother, his brother, which he cherished more than anything, and his newly adopted sister. Not counting all of the cousins, aunts, uncles and family friends present…
My parents conversed with the other guests, mostly with Alejandro’s family. Different sorts of guilts were eating us both up, avoiding each other’s gaze as much as we could. Betty stayed on her phone, annoyance deforming her face as she chattered with no one. As if his death was merely an inconvenience in her life. They didn’t quite like each other, so the fact that she was even there felt… odd, to say the least.
I’ve been standing for around an hour and I needed to go to the bathroom for a little while. As I washed my hands in the reception room’s bathroom, another individual came to use the sink next to me. Using my only working eye, I slickly observed the man next to me.
Alejandro.
He must’ve noticed me staring and decided to address me.
“Listen, Yven”, he started, “about what happened on New Year…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, I answered.
“Don’t act stupid. I just… uhm…”
He looked behind us, seeing if anyone could hear us talk.
“I’m so sorry. I-I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking straight and-”
“Yeah, you certainly weren’t.”
“Fuck off.”
“Don’t be sorry. I didn’t think anything of it. We all make drunken mistakes.”
The words painfully left my mouth. Does he really regret it that much?
“…Right.”
His grip tightened around his golden cross chain. Is that what that was all about? I always knew him and his family were pretty religious. Perhaps he regrets his drunken weakness and believes making it up to me will make up for both our sins.
“Can we… like, you know, stay friends?”, he continued.
“Of course man.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “One night won’t change our friendship forever.”
I patted his back and left the bathroom. I knew it. I knew he’d come back and apologize. Why did I ever think it would work out between us? It was just a drunken mistake, a moment of weakness…
I felt numb. Rey’s gone, Alejandro will look at me like the man who pushed him into sin for the rest of his life, and Betty was still annoyingly posted up on the wall.
She didn’t do anything, I just don’t like her presence.
I decided to go see Rafael and give him my condolences. He was nowhere to be seen, so I assumed that he was posted up against a wall smoking outside. Getting some air would probably also help me. I slipped away from the crowd and sneaked outside.
The cold wind outside gently caressed my face, and the snow fell quietly on my skin. I took a whiff of the fresh air and deeply sighed. I haven’t had a chance to breathe since what happened to Rey and his family. Sadness and grief had been eating me alive since that day we found them, like somebody was gripping my throat and not letting go. Rey’s once lively energy, forever gone. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye. It suddenly hit me that all that I went through was real. Rey truly died.
I let my body slip on the floor and looked at the horizon. They’re dead. He’s dead. I lived and he didn’t. Why did it have to end this way? It isn’t fair. His smile lit up entire rooms, my presence barely changed a place’s composition. Why did it have to be him?
My vision blurred as I decided to put my face in my hands. Nobody was watching. Even if they were, I wouldn’t care.
I’m mourning my friend.
Tears fell down on my hands, and my sobs made my shoulder jump.
I must’ve been like this for a couple of minutes when a cigarette smell hit my nostrils.
“You okay, chico?”, I heard right after.
I glanced up, eyes still teary, and analyzed the face in front of me. I quickly recognized him as Rafael and felt a sudden relief that he found me. The weight of grief crushed me, and I stayed quiet in consequence.
“It’s alright if you don’t wanna talk. Cool if I sit next to you?”
I nodded and he sat on my left side and we stayed silent for a bit. I didn’t want him to comfort me when he was the one who had lost the most. It just didn’t feel right. I could only muster up a single sentence:
“Sorry about what happened.”
He looked at me, eyes still lifeless, and put his hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
He paused and stared off into the distance. As my tears dried up and my vision corrected itself, I analyzed Rafael’s expression. Tear marks stained his eyes, and a cigarette was perked up against his mouth.
“You’re Yven, aren’t you?”
“…Yea.”
“We cleaned Rey’s room after… everything that happened. Found something with your name on it.”
Rafael handed me a CD in it’s case. On it was engraved “For Yven” in black marker. My attention was now piqued. What could Rey possibly have put on this disk that concerned me? I slowly took the CD from Rafael’s hand, turning it to see if anything else was written. Was this perhaps related to what Rey communicated through my dream?
Rafael got up while I was still analyzing the content of this mysterious gift. Still smoking his cigarette, he gave me one last piece of advice:
“Go back inside, you’re gonna catch a cold.”
I followed his advice and headed back inside the same way I got in.
Created: December 1st, 2025